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Huge post-coronavirus orgy planned to end ‘longest dry spell in all of history’

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They’re gonna flatten a whole lotta curves.

In an effort to give their neighbors a laugh during the coronavirus pandemic, a couple recently posted 30 flyers advertising an Avengers-themed “Post Pandemic Pan-Philadelphia Orgy” around their South Philly neighborhood. While the event started as a joke, the pair have received so many inquiries that they now intend to actually host it.

“The orgy is on,” the couple — a lighting engineer named Bob and a sex therapist named Alyssa, who withheld their last names — tell The Post. Neither have ever attended an orgy, but both now feel they’re obligated to hold one as soon as it’s safe to do so.

“This would be new territory for us, but it’s something that we’ve been open to,” says Alyssa, 29, who identifies as bisexual.

“I identify as heterosexual but open to new experiences,” says Bob, 25, adding he has had “small group experiences,” but nothing he’d call an orgy.

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The pair only began dating in December, after meeting in a local bar, but decided to quarantine when the pandemic hit and have found themselves quite compatible, and grateful to not be among the sexless masses.

“Humanity is currently in the middle of the largest dry spell in all of history, that’s what inspired the flyers,” Bob says. (Philadelphia’s 2019 Furnace Party was also an inspiration, they say.) “It may seem strange to advertise an orgy in such a public way, but yes, we wanted to bring a smile to our neighbors’ faces,” he says.

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Bob and Alyssa recently posted 30 flyers advertising an Avengers-themed orgy around South Philadelphia.Bob and Alyssa, orgy co-organizers.

And based on the feedback they’ve gotten, they’ve spread amusement — and genuine interest — much farther than their Philly nabe.

“It really took us by surprise,” Alyssa says of the widespread response they’ve received, from as far away as Nevada.

“The demand is overwhelming,” says Bob, estimating they’ve gotten emails from some 80 people so far, maybe half of them serious potential participants, in addition to countless internet comments. “A lot of messages are just, ‘is this real?’ ” he says. “I think we turned down some people at the beginning because we didn’t realize we were for real.”



As for the Avengers theme, “We just like spandex, bodysuits and tights,” says Alyssa. “It seemed like a sexy, easy theme, and since this is new for us, it felt good to have some direction.” Plus, both agree, it’ll naturally incorporate masks.

One eager participant tells The Post via email they claimed “dibs on Dr. Strange,” and they’re “83% sure I have the

antibodies” — presumably giving them free range to sow their wild oats.

While Bob and Alyssa planned on hosting the orgy in their apartment, they think they may need to rent a bigger venue.

“No matter how big this gets, we’ll put something together,” Bob says.

The pair had hoped to host the event in June, but the pandemic has lasted longer than they anticipated.

“I would say an orgy sounds like a thorough phase green activity,” says Bob, referring to Pennsylvania’s three-color reopening plan, but “we’re willing to be patient,” adds Alyssa.

Not being able to set a date isn’t a major issue, they agree. What’s most important is that the orgy interest gives them the promise of eventual group fun.

“We don’t know what the future holds for us,” Bob says. “We just want something to look forward to.”

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